August 7th, 2000

Brown-eyed Stare

Substitute for Love?

"I traded fame for love
without a second thought.
It all became a silly game;
some things cannot be bought.
I got exactly what I asked for,
wanted it so badly.
Running, rushing back for more;
I suffered fools so gladly.

And now I find
I've changed my mind."

Things are going down today... have gone down, I should say. And Pollyanna's pissed.... she wants everyone to just "get along"... and that's just not the way life is. Damn my idealistic heart.

And then I wonder what parts of my life are really *my* life.... and what parts are not real. Things that happen several thousand miles away mean more to me than major crises here at "home". It begs the question: What is my life? And right now I don't have a good answer for that, like some other questions people have asked me lately.

When I get a good answer to any one of them, I promise, I'll tell.

(Right now, I'd like to go and have a cup of tea, and sit down to chat with madonna.... but we all know *that* won't be happening for a LONG while..... perhaps I can make due with the darjeeling anyway.)

Q: What do you do when the songs are more real than your own life?