July 20th, 2006

Brown-eyed Stare

Today's Daily Om: Waves Of Healing (Ocean Meditation)

I just saw this show up in my in-box, and thought "What an apropos
metaphor for today for me - what a good place for me to send my mind
right now". I woke up in difficult spirits this morning, thinking I was
responsible for another's difficult decision. And when I could
remember, and could get back to seeing the truth of it (that it really
wasn't my fault) - I felt a better. That, and I realized that maybe my
dwelling on that other matter was "easier" than (read: good camouflage
for) thinking about what happens this afternoon, and acknowledging my
fear about it. Kinda like watching a magician, I think I've been trying
to distract myself with fear about A, when my fear is bigger about B.
Something for me to think about.

I've had a really good past two days - felt nurtured and safe last
night, and the night before as well. There's a lot to be said for my
friends and lovers and the gentle care they've given me (thank yous and
kisses all 'round - both for now, and for what I may need later). Am
trying hard right now to be gentle with myself, as well (so far, so

I'm gonna read this Om over several times, and take it with me this
afternoon, to help me relax. Johnathan was right: Hope for the best,
prepare for the worst, and take what comes. Sage advice.

If I'm not posting stuff for a bit, it may be because I've taken a
Mental Health break, and disappeared for a while. Don't worry - I'll be
back, and will let people know what the results from today are. Thank
you to all who are praying/chanting/meditating for/thinking good
thoughts about me - I appreciate it more than I can say.

Happy Thursday, all.

Waves Of Healing: Ocean Meditation

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Brown-eyed Stare

Thankful Thursday

1. Having had good "spiritfood" recently.
2. Friends & loves willing to call and check in on me when I'm scared.
3. Feeling nurtured, cared for, and loved (and the people who made it possible).
4. Being able to come to the library and type this.
5. The Universe allowing errors to become my blessings.
6. Fears that *don't* come true.
7. The ability to call and have company, if I want/need it.
8. Help from other areas in life when I'm having a hard time being patient.
9. Ceremonies that help heal (ibid. from B.).
10. The wolves in my life (ibid. from B.).
11. Blue Bunny ice cream sandwiches and wonton soup.
12. Really cool/supportive cubemates.
13. Cold cider waiting for me in the fridge.
14. The opportunity to make potato salad again for people.
15. Love, in all its myriad forms, interwoven throughout my life.