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Bitch, bitch, whine, moan, kvetch.... - Mental Feng Shui
....revising what (& who) will fit in the room....
loba
loba
Bitch, bitch, whine, moan, kvetch....
All hail the High Empress of Whine, Ms. Crankypants!!



Damn.... I want to be about 2 right now... I want to stick out my lower lip and POUT.... I want for someone to come and take care of *me* for a while... and for someone *else* to worry about the bills and the laundry and the groceries for a while.... I want to sleep and actually *get* some rest when I do. And I want popsicles and butterscotch pudding, tuna-noodle casserole and mac-n-cheese, and an electric blanket, and hot cocoa.... and all the other things that signify comfort. And I want to be able to *take comfort* from them, instead of beeing the whiny, cranky bitch I seem to have become this morning.

I realized this morning, on the bus, that I was incredibly cranky, because I am in pain. I had a nearly overwhelming urge to jump up and yell, "Is it just me, or am I SURROUNDED by idiots???" And then I realized that I was indeed knee-deep in a Bad Mood, and that I just needed to sit still and CHILL for a while. So I tried to, but it's hard. My back, and front ribs, and skull hurt so bad I want to cry. It feels as though someone has kicked me in the kidneys, and I can't get comfortable. And every time I cough, that nasty splitting headache comes back. But the cough is a spasm, and I can't control it -- even with taking cough drops and decongestants. And I am tired of nearly barfing or wetting myself each time I cough -- I HATE THAT.

And I know that kvetching about it does no real good.... but I'm tired of taking everyone else's appointments, and listening to THEIR pain, while I have to bury my own. Am. Just. Sick. Of. It. I desperately need a day off, and will get it on Sunday, if I'm bloody lucky. (Am out of PTO and have been for a week now). Now, if I can only hang on until then.

And yes, I know this really *isn't* that bad... it just feels like it. But damn, I've been sick pretty much since mid-September -- coughing and headachy, post-nasal-drippy and low energy -- and it's wearing thin. I wish I could say the same for my waistline, but I can do little about that when I have negative energy levels, and when my muscles are expressing constant fatigue. I just want to rest and regain some energy, and no matter what I do, I can't seem to make it happen. Even with the CPAP, I feel as though someone is trying to strangle me, and I don't get good sleep. It's frustrating.

Okay, enough bitching for now. It's not cancer; it's not life-threatening. I don't have a large cut in my belly anymore, nor do I have 38 staples either. I'm not even spurting large amounts of blood, nor am I on fire. It's just me being cranky and frustrated and annoyed, and wishing that things would be *easy* for a while. So, I shall try and take my own advice, and "go slow".... and "Rest." Hard to do when there's still so much left to be done, but I shall try.

And now, perhaps, Ms. Crankypants has left the building.

The State of the Cranium is: : tired tired

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Comments
cindygerb From: cindygerb Date: January 25th, 2008 06:37 pm (UTC) (This Entry)
(((((((Hugs)))))))
loba From: loba Date: January 25th, 2008 07:38 pm (UTC) (This Entry)
Thank you, dearie.
loree From: loree Date: January 25th, 2008 06:39 pm (UTC) (This Entry)
Have you tried Tessalon? It's a cough suppressant that works by paralyzing the nerve endings in your brachii, vastly suppressing the coughing reflex. It's prescription-only, but you might be able to get your doctor to call it in to your pharmacy for you. This stuff saved my sanity during the winter of sinus infection -> double ear infection -> bronchitis -> illness-induced asthma.
loba From: loba Date: January 25th, 2008 07:04 pm (UTC) (This Entry)
Yes, I have the Wee Marbles of Sleepiness... unfortunately, I cannot take them at work: thy make me all drooly. But I will try them tomorrow with some caffiene.... maybe it will help.

Thanks for the idea. (And yes, I'm on Round II of antibiotics for an ear infection. Yarggh.)
ignusfaatus From: ignusfaatus Date: January 25th, 2008 07:26 pm (UTC) (This Entry)
i wish you
lectric blankies
warm tea with honey
and springtime bird sounds outside your window

and may the elves come clean your house when your not watching
loba From: loba Date: January 25th, 2008 07:39 pm (UTC) (This Entry)
Sounds damn good to me.:-)
(Deleted comment)
loba From: loba Date: January 25th, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC) (This Entry)
I'd settle for a weekend that is mine, without commitments or the need to schedule with people to move my stuff. But a month? Wow....what a luxury...
klicrai From: klicrai Date: January 25th, 2008 07:47 pm (UTC) (This Entry)
Ugh. That does *NOT* sound fun. My sympathies, lady.
poetry_lady From: poetry_lady Date: January 25th, 2008 08:47 pm (UTC) (This Entry)

Damn.... I want to be about 2 right now... I want to stick out my lower lip and POUT.... I want for someone to come and take care of *me* for a while... and for someone *else* to worry about the bills and the laundry and the groceries for a while.... I want to sleep and actually *get* some rest when I do. And I want popsicles and butterscotch pudding, tuna-noodle casserole and mac-n-cheese, and an electric blanket, and hot cocoa.... and all the other things that signify comfort. And I want to be able to *take comfort* from them, instead of beeing the whiny, cranky bitch I seem to have become this morning.

I SO want this, too. Wanna take turns being the responsible one? You sound worse off, with the constant illni, so you be two first, OK? :)
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