I'm gonna invent a whole 'nuther Alter Ego... like I'd write a D&D character.
Her name is Beth/Steph/Bev/Teb (or someothersuch). She's got a monotone voice, and does not get upset by anything.
However, she could do so because NO ONE could ever find her (BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T BLOODY WELL EXIST!!!)
Sheesh. I mean, really... is "Deb" that odd of a name that people constantly mis-hear it????
This week has been the Attack of the Stupid, Grumpy and Unpleasantly Weird -- I should have expected this level of name-mangling.