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Mental Feng Shui
....revising what (& who) will fit in the room....
"I'm not dead yet..."
This is a short post to let people know that 1) yes, I did recently re-watch "The Holy Grail" and 2) I'm still here.  ("I think I'll go for a walk...")

I realized earlier this morning that, while I do still Tweet some (same name there as here -- lucky me for getting in early), when I tweaked my LJ so that it did not double-post my Tweets over at FaceBook, it also stopped posting my Tweets here.  Which means a LOT of 'radio silence' for me here at LJ, apparently.

Which may well be for the good -- I think that most of my wrassles with various demons lately are not fit for human consumption.  :-P  Suffice it to say that I'm still dealing with some things that I thought were done, as well as some heretofore unknown issues with my (4 years past) cancer surgery.  My body has begun changing in uncomfortable (and annoying) ways, and I have been worried and scared, because I know what the result is, and I DO NOT want to deal with that.  EVER.  But I may not have much of a choice -- what I have happening is not very reversable. 

So, I've had a LOT (recently) of dealing with the anger and depression, and the nasties that haunt me along with them -- as well as learning how to deal differently with my migraines (which got worse with the stress).  Add to that the wacky job stuff (all of us having to re-apply for our jobs, and start over as new employees of a different organization, with zero senority and 6 months of probation) - and it's been a bumpy ride.  And yes, I've been in close contact with my psych, and am planning to talk with a counselor soon (regularly) about it all, but it's not been pretty.  And I haven't felt comfortable enough to put it here -- locked or not.

Long and short?  I have not left LJ, and will try to come back and post a bit more, since I know now that not even my Tweets are making it here.  But you can also find me at Twitter, or Facebook, if you want -- as well.  And if you want to email me, you can write directly to my phone, at sapphireloba at gmail dot com.

More anon -- must go have some lunch.

**Hugs and good wishes to all**

The State of the Cranium is: : busy busy

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cindygerb From: cindygerb Date: September 30th, 2010 07:32 am (UTC) (This Entry)
Sending back hugs and good wishes, and hoping it all goes well for you.

I just went through the same job thing. I have seen incredibly strong women here cry in fear that they would lose their jobs because of it. It is so fucked up.

harlock999 From: harlock999 Date: October 1st, 2010 02:13 am (UTC) (This Entry)
Oww . . . sorry to hear about the health issues. It makes the hack n cough going around the office where I work pretty trivial.

By an odd coincidence, I re-watched "Holy Grail" from Netflix just a week and a half ago. Some inspired stuff, but it was more uncomfortable this time around, because of the theme of having to jump through hoop after hoop and never quite getting there. Adult life is a lot like that, as you seem to have found out.
runnerwolf From: runnerwolf Date: October 4th, 2010 05:14 pm (UTC) (This Entry)
Miss you darlin'
loba From: loba Date: October 20th, 2010 12:00 am (UTC) (This Entry)
**hugs** Miss you, too.
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