Deb (loba) wrote,

  • Mood:

"I'm not dead yet..."

This is a short post to let people know that 1) yes, I did recently re-watch "The Holy Grail" and 2) I'm still here.  ("I think I'll go for a walk...")

I realized earlier this morning that, while I do still Tweet some (same name there as here -- lucky me for getting in early), when I tweaked my LJ so that it did not double-post my Tweets over at FaceBook, it also stopped posting my Tweets here.  Which means a LOT of 'radio silence' for me here at LJ, apparently.

Which may well be for the good -- I think that most of my wrassles with various demons lately are not fit for human consumption.  :-P  Suffice it to say that I'm still dealing with some things that I thought were done, as well as some heretofore unknown issues with my (4 years past) cancer surgery.  My body has begun changing in uncomfortable (and annoying) ways, and I have been worried and scared, because I know what the result is, and I DO NOT want to deal with that.  EVER.  But I may not have much of a choice -- what I have happening is not very reversable. 

So, I've had a LOT (recently) of dealing with the anger and depression, and the nasties that haunt me along with them -- as well as learning how to deal differently with my migraines (which got worse with the stress).  Add to that the wacky job stuff (all of us having to re-apply for our jobs, and start over as new employees of a different organization, with zero senority and 6 months of probation) - and it's been a bumpy ride.  And yes, I've been in close contact with my psych, and am planning to talk with a counselor soon (regularly) about it all, but it's not been pretty.  And I haven't felt comfortable enough to put it here -- locked or not.

Long and short?  I have not left LJ, and will try to come back and post a bit more, since I know now that not even my Tweets are making it here.  But you can also find me at Twitter, or Facebook, if you want -- as well.  And if you want to email me, you can write directly to my phone, at sapphireloba at gmail dot com.

More anon -- must go have some lunch.

**Hugs and good wishes to all**

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